Monday, January 28, 2013

Monday, January 21, 2013

Happy birthday #36!

Poor Cam was the only person who had to work on his birthday.  The kids were off school so we decided to take him out to lunch, we went to Johnny Rockets which was good.  Then we had a little family party, this year each of the kids wanted to get him a present with their own money, so they did.


Things are looking better


The outer window is looking much better, they finally poured the driveway, walkway and steps and they put in the ovens.


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Xander Cole 10 Months

I can’t believe it’s been 10 months.   His birthday is so close it looms in the back of my mind, I wonder how it will be.  February 3rd is also coming, 2 weeks away from the day our lives changed forever.  The day the doctor told us “things didn’t look good for our baby”  The day we found out he was dying and that there was very little we could do about it. I HATE THAT STUPID DAY!!


Today I want to share the short story of how Xander got his name.  I wanted to share this for a couple of reasons.  1. Xander is our child and he is very real to us.  Sometimes people think because we didn’t get to be with him very long that his death isn’t as hard or as bad/sad as if one of our other children had died.  Trust me, that is not true, and that is because he feels like all of my other kids, very real.  2.  I want his brothers and sisters to know, so I wanted it to be recorded here as well as my journal so that it’s more permanent.


I have always wanted 7 kids, Cameron was happy to have 5.  I kept feeling that we were to have another baby, but that is absolutely a decision that is made as a couple.  So I started to bring it up once in a while to see how Cameron would take it, basically he wouldn’t talk about it at all, he would just change the subject every time I brought it up.  That went on for months.  Finally I asked him if he would at least pray about it and then let me know what he thought.  He said he would.  About a month later I brought it up again and he said that he had prayed about it and he too thought that we should have another baby.  He also knew that this baby would be a boy.  I really wanted it to be a boy, so we could have 3 boys and 3 girls, that way everyone has brothers and sisters.  Silly I know but still I did. 

Then all that other stuff with my surgery happened and I didn’t really think about the baby being a boy or a girl I just wanted them to be healthy.  We had talked about names that we liked but when you are tying to name your 6th child things get a little harder.   We had a short list of boy names and a very short list of girl names that we kind of liked but nothing was jumping out at us.  Our boy names were Carter, Porter and Xander but in no way was Xander #1 truthfully it was probably #3.   And we had no middle names picked out at all. We normally don’t even think about names till we know what we are having, but since the plan with #6 was to wait till they were born to find out we started talking about names a little earlier.    Then totally randomly one day while I was lying on my bed about 18 weeks pregnant reading my scriptures his name was given to me.  It came quietly to my mind that his name was to be Xander Cole, I was really surprised at the Cole.  We had never, ever talked about using or even brought up the name Cole ever.  But the name Cole does have significance he is named for a boy that was Cameron’s friend and lived next door to him growing up, his name is Cameron Cole.  There is more to Cameron Cole’s story and why it’s cool he’s named after him but I’m not going to go into it.

So that’s it, I’m not sure why his name was given to me like that or why it needed to be Xander Cole.  I just know that it is. 



I was thinking about you today, remembering how you felt in my arms. 

Wishing I could hold you again, knowing I can’t. 

I miss you, I love you, I can’t wait to hold you again.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Good, the Bad and the WHAT THE WHAT

The good

One vanity in the master bath is finished, our shower doors are in and the kid’s bathroom is finished.


The Bad

Remember this???



Well now it looks like this, I sure hope they plan on moving the light so that it is centered over the vanity.


They are also fixing a problem with one of the walls




They obviously still have a lot of work to do on this window



We have no idea what happened here.



IT looks like the new date is February 5th.  I’ll believe it when I see Cameron signing the papers!!!

Never mind it’s already been changed to February 8th.

Monday, January 14, 2013


So we figured out why that window was boarded up at our house.  It’s NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THERE!!!!! The window was suppose to be in the master bedroom not the master bathroom.  I can’t believe that it took them that long to notice.   They have already cut in the new window but I’m not sure how long it will take them to patch the HOLE IN THE SIDE OF OUR HOUSE!!  The temp is so cold here right now, cold enough that they haven’t been able to pour our driveway, back patio or front steps.  Hard to believe that we bought this house in July and they told us that it would be 120 days.  Maybe by February…maybe.


This is the window that’s not suppose to be there.  Kind of hard to hang a mirror over the vanity when there is a window in the way!! I wonder if that is when they finally noticed. 



And this is how it looks now.  The old opps window in the middle and the new window on the right.   





This is the first time I got to see it with the garage door down.  I like it.  But still no driveway or walkway or front porch steps.