Important Work

Well the last month was really, really horrible for me.  I’m not sure exactly why I was sucked back into all the wretchedness but I have some theories.  I’m not going to go into all of that, I just don’t feel like it.  I wanted to share something else so I don’t forget it.  So like I said the last 4-5 weeks have been pretty hard again.  The kids have really been talking a lot about Xander lately, I wish Xander was here for this, or I wish Xander was here for that.  Tanner one day was giving Marriner a really big hug and he turns to me and says “Mom, you know the only thing that’s missing from this brother hug?…Xander” Just stuff like that.  Anyway, one day it was just me and Aftyn and Marriner at home and we were playing pirates.  When Aftyn says “Mom, I wish Xander could play pirates with us.”  “Me too,” I say.  Then she stops looks me right in the eye and says “but he has work to do mom,  IMPORTANT work.” Then she turns and starts playing again.  It was like it was a little message just for me, and I do truly know that, sometimes it just doesn’t help as much as at other times.  I just miss him.  But it did help me kind of snap out of the funk I was in, so I’m grateful for that.